My 2013 Resolution

HI Lovelies~

Since I wrote my 2012 experience, I thought i should write my 2013 resolution! I have stopped setting goals ever since i work. It's just really difficult to accomplish and i am just not firm enough.

So for this NEW year, I am going to set my resolution for the year~ Also, I have a big news to share too! I shall break my resolution into Personal, Family, Career and Studies. I gave a big hint already. haha!

Personal
In my personal resolution, I really wish that I can accomplish them as i believe if i accomplish them, It's will make myself to be a much better person. And here, I am going to be really trueful. So you might see some of my negative side. haha~

To be more Proactive
I am someone that you will hardly see me initiate to ask for a meet up/dinner. Someone who hardly message my friends and even if someone message me, I will kind of only reply when i am free. Someone who don't look at her phone after she reach home. Well, that's me. I can live without a phone. At some point, I hate them. I just felt that they are a gadget that prevent me to meet my friends. But yet i hardly meet my friends. A lot of my friends will say i am always busy... haha~ So, this year, i would wish to be more proactive towards every area. Towards my friends and family. I really wish that they will feel their importance in my heart and hope that they thought i'm a trustful friend~

To save more money
I am going to start saving more money this year. Hopefully $500 without spending them. haha~ The reason for it is not only for my future and stuff. I have a dream that i want to make it happen on the year of 2016/2017. It's my biggest dream that you have to continue reading until you reach my Studies section. haha~ Another wish that i really want to accomplish is to buy a pair of Rolex/Longines watch for my parents. Not only that they love watches like me, it's like a object that allows them to know that their daughter, Grace, has grown up and are able to take care of herself. Definitely, i will not be able to accomplish this this year but 1day, i really wish i am able to make this happen.

To destress without spending much money
Till now, or ever since i starts working, the way i destress myself turn to be expensive. I would choose to buy things or go for a facial to let myself relax. However, i just felt it's wrong. Not only that, that relaxing point it's only for a while. So, i decided that rather than going for a facial or goes out for shopping, i decided to go for various kinds of sport. I really wish that i can goes back on windsurfing. But i fear that my blemishes will worsen. So starting this year, i shall start running at least 3 times a week. It's really a good way to destress and detox. Maybe I will try hiking too. As you know, i love nature~

To lose weight
I am not afraid of stating my weight as i do not want those figure to depress me. But i want to be more confident. I felt that if i lose some weight, it will make me more productive too. Another reason that i want to lose some weight is because, on the end of 2013, my lovely second sister will be holding her wedding banquet! I am totally excited about it and this might be the last banquet for our family for this few years at least. As you know, i am the only person in my family not married. haha~ Totally can't believe it. I am just 23! I don't think i will get married for the next 5 years at least. I might not get married! haha~ So to look the best for my sister wedding and also an excuse, i want to lose some weight! I'm someone whose weight won't go down fast but i have to be perseverance! I do hope that I can at least hit 52kg but best 49kg. So good luck to me!!!

To be more cheerful
Somehow, I have lose my smile. If you saw me, it seems like I'm always tired/dull/lonely. But i am not exactly like this! I used to smile a lot. Even smiling while daydreaming. I want to smile more as i believe it will definitely change my way of living and also affect the people around me too!


Family
If you are close to me, you will know that my life has kind of change about 2 years ago. I used to goes out a lot, do a lot of videos and research a lot about things i love. Well after my brother got married. I have to say, it's really difficult to have to family staying together due to their different habits and culture. I did not used to think so much but not everyone can be as tolerant i guess. Well, totally no blaming on any sides but since we are living together, it definitely affects me quite a lot. Worrying that my parents will be tired to take care of my 3 niece and nephews, I will always try my best to help them out on my weekends and allow them to relax for the day. As you guys know, having a kid around has a lot of restrictions. Therefore, the time of me spending out with my friends or even alone has lessen alot. However, it's really fun being with them as somehow, you will feel the importance of yourself:)
I really like the feeling of it.

To be more postitive
As times pass while staying together, we tend to take advantage of each other and expectation from each other increases. For example, I expect my clothing to be wash within these 2 days but not more than 3 days later. Another, you expect the your sister will be the next person buying the daily products. Well, i do not have much issue on the stated as to me, I am not financially committed much on my family living expenses. What i have given them might not even be enough for them to buy my part of gorceries for the month. Therefore, i will always buy those daily used products which is shared among us. However, i really cannot stand when things are not put back on the right place and my clothings are not hanging/place as i like. So, I really wish to be more positive on such area. Or should i say, more tolerance and outgoing on this area. To me, if you want to have a healthier home, you should be more tolerance towards each other but not expect more. Although i know that this has to be done with all the family members support, but i believe, someone has to start so that the others will. Even if they don't, at least i will feel better.

To help more on the chores
I do help on chores during some weekends. But after 2 weeks of being alone when they went back to Thailand, I realise that i am doing too little chores for the family. So i shall change myself by doing more chores and not complaining when there is some other cups or plates at the basin. haha~

Occasional family treats!
Ok. I have to say i hardly treat my parents for lunch or dinner. Only last year that i decided to treat my family and some close relatives during my birthday as i really want to thank them to be there for me when i am at my most bottom line. I do buy some snacks home occassionally but I felt that it's still not enough. So, i decide to treat more to my family. Or at least to my lovely parents. My family is just too big for me to treat too often. haha~ Starting from this year, I shall initiate to treat my family more than ever cause i love yall! hehex

A better Listener
Being the only child that are not married, my families and close relatives tend to talk to me when they have problems and sorrows. I am a very good listener last year as sometimes, in the end, i quarrel with my father because i do not like the way he phrase it. He kind of like phrasing things very harshly and vulger. Also, i kinda of burst out recently about how stress am I from hearing all the complains that i can't do anything to it.  I might hurt someone at that time. Though i immediately said sorry but what said have been said. And lastly, i wish my brother will approach me more so that i can understand his problems like in the past rather than keeping to himself. I want to become a better listener that will try to understand where to person stands and not gets agitated. I think this is my biggest challenge! haha~ Wish me luck!


Career
If you do not know, i am a Graphic Designer. I have been working for 2.5years and are still a Junior. I will need to work harder to improve myself!

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil
Well, this will be my slogan for my career. If you guys have starts your career, the way people gossip is really crazy. And i mean in any area. In school, if we are to gossip, it won't really harm the other party that much. But in work, it will definitely affect the way your colleagues see you. Gossiping might allow you to be closer with your colleagues but for example, when it's time that your manager want to promote you, all this gossiping might not favour him as he scared that you might gossip about him at his back! So bang!, there goes your promotion~

To be more initiative
Presently, i will always do the job given to me on time. However, if i would want to success in my career, i have to be more initiative. To not only do what's given but also prepare for the future projects and finds out what needs to be change. I won't be able to do this suddenly but gradually. However, I thing that i am afraid is that i might step on my Supervisor's job which i really do not want. That's why, i shall gradually change the style i am working~


Studies
Finally!!! I very big news!!!! I am going to pursue my Degree at UniSIM!!! It's a huge step for me. Previously, i do not really want to study there but due to how our Prime MInister introduced UniSIM and how government subsidies 55% of the cost, I felt that it is very attractive! Also, they have the course that i really am interested. Visual Communication with Business. I always want a degree with a combination of design and marketing as i felt that in the market, this position always work together.

 To study before Lecture
As UniSIM has a very independent way for teaching, I felt that it is important that i have to study all the notes required beforehand. This gonna be difficult but that's the way i want! So good luck girl! hehe~

To improve my English
Improving language especially English is real difficult for me. As i came in a mixed family speaking with various languages and dialects, it is hard for me to improve them. Or should i say, i am just not good with them. I love reading storybooks, watching movies that will helps with my languages but it's just not a habit for me to use them! so improving my English is my biggest challenge. Just a bit, i will be happy.


So this is the end of my resolution and Gosh! i have to start them fast! I have a lot to accomplish!!! Well, I might not accomplish them all but i will try my best!!! Somehow, writing this makes me motivated. Can't wait for a better, healthier lifestyle and being a better person!!! Please say good luck to me!

Link me your resolution post of the year or comment below! I want to know!!!!

xoxo!

Happy New Year

Hi Lovelies!

Happy New Year!!! I know it's kind of late but i still want to wish you lovelies~
2012, is a year that i experience a lot that makes me start to treasure a lot of things near me and also cause me to lose a lot of things too.

As you guys know, ever since the beginning of year 2012, i got into a serious car accident which luckily didn't cause me serious injuries but mentally. I was in a state of depression for the few months. The thought of causing physically and mentally pain to my loves one hunt me down. Luckily, my loves one eventually heals back. I was the only one being held back at the past, at the scene of the car accident. Whenever i was near the roadside, hearing any honks, seeing cars drove past me fast or sitting on a car, the horrible scene appears. It takes me about half a year of me to gets better and longer for me to have the courage to drive again. At some states, i do wish to commit suicide

At first, i did not meet anyone. But as times goes by, i meet up with a few of my close poly friends (with fear). I didn't really talk a lot for the beginning as somehow, i dare not talk. I just felt like a jinx to everyone close to me. I really fear that i would hurt anyone. Meeting them is easy. I really have to thank my family alot. If not for them, i don't think i can ever overcome this horrible fear and pain.

Having a new manager at the same time makes me feel cursed too. I don't want to say bad about my manager but at that point of time, my work stress is very high. It's almost the same time during my car accident. I was mentally too stress that i fall sick a lot. I couldn't take any MC due to the work load. My supervisor was pregnant and i don't want to give her too much workload too. So due to all this, i decided to go for a short 2 weeks trip back to Bangkok during the off peak period. I needed them badly.

This trip is personally very worth it. My mind are at peace and i see things slightly better. However, i didn't accomplish a thing. My mind of wanting to meet up my mum's goodmum. It might be cause of the accident that i really wish to meet her during that trip. We (me and a few of my family) have totally forgotten about it thanks to our naggy neighbor who tag along with us. 2-3 weeks after we came back from Bangkok, we realise that she suddenly realise that she had cancer and was at the last stage of it. She pass away few days later. I was really regretful. Similar thing happens again to a close granny staying at the same block as me. She past away too.  (inside jokes: my mum tell me not to miss her as she still want to live... haha~) I shall not think anymore and meet whoever i want before something happens.

It was only during September that i first drove. Flashes of the accident keeps appearing when i was driving. But i tell myself to be brave so that the "dirty things" will not see me weak. Till now, i have already drove for a couple of times. I will still grib the wheel tightly and sit upright.

Now, only a few days ago, i starts to appreciate the accident and starts to believe that I am not that of a jinx. I appreciate things easier and live my life less intense. And most important thing, I starts to feel feelings that i thought i lose them. The feeling of happiness, sadness, excitement. Previously, I have already been questioning myself that why have i not feel anything. It just seems that my heart is somehow, not working. I am really happy to get all these feelings back. Life is so much better with them~ I learned to care and give more too! Previously, money is everyday to me. With no money, you will not have joy~ But now, i learn to use them wisely so that i can make my loves one happier and let them know where i stands in the world now. Personally, i felt that i am standing in a position that I give and take. On a position that even if someone are to use me a little, I am fine with it as i believe, it's all for the best. At a point that i don't mine spending the money on other though that's the only few dollars i have.

So now, i just want to thank god for giving me such big test and awarding me greatly too. Lastly, big thanks to my loves one that includes my lovely family, relatives, friends and colleagues. It's your support that allow me to pass this test~
I love you guys!!!!


xoxo!